Pearls Before Swine

"Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and tear you in pieces." - Matt. 7:6

I did not understand this Bible verse for the longest time. I literally pictured in my head someone taking off a pearl necklace and throwing it in a pig pen...and then the pigs going crazy, smashing the pearls and trampling/eating the person alive.

Quite terrifying, actually.

Believe it or not, this year (and most of last year) has been the time that an interpretation of that verse has presented itself to me, in a way applicable to life. So here is my translation of the verse, or at least the latter part:

Don't lay down your trust, your feelings, your dreams, or your reason before people who do not appreciate them or cannot understand them, because they will massively under appreciate it, or completely ignore it, and then tear your heart to shreds.

I love watching old movies. Occasionally you will hear the insult, "You swine!" You mindless, classless, feelingless, uncomprehending pig. That's what I think of when I hear the term.

Pearls before swine. I think it also means not trying to reason with unreasonable people (There are many other Bible verses that reference that too). It cannot be done, and you waste your breath, your energy, and severely dampen your spirits by persisting in thinking, "If only I could make them understand how much this or that hurts me. Surely they would be kinder if they knew."

They know, they just don't care.

The sooner one can accept the fact that some people don't want a share in your life if it comes at the expense of having to give any part of theirs, the better off you will be.

My difficulty is that it takes me a while to process these moments of clarity and realization. And I find myself still hoping for understanding, still spreading my dreams under their feet.

Tread softly, swine. You tread on my dreams.

Not quite poetry

You feel neglected, but nothing you have done has gone unnoticed. 

I remember the days when you held me with intent, so close and with promise.

It was because I appreciated your efforts that I recognized when they ceased. 

When did you stop looking at me with love? I can almost name the day.

The day you decided to give in to your notions, and invent your reasons.

We were young, and foolish. Had we the maturity, it would have been different.

How, sir? 

Do you feel nothing? How easy, it seems, for you to treat me like a mistake.

In a few short words, and a few short looks, you reduce years to nothing.

You reduce countless nights of frantic worry to an equation that you figured wrong.

You reduce endless pages of words, important words, to tripe. 

I can feel the pieces of my heart subtracted every time you say it was never meant to be. 

And every thing I held so dear about you crumbles in my mind. 

In this moment, I feel as you do; we are nothing but a waste of time. 

Happy Valentines Day.