Back when my eldest was in preschool, we had the misfortune of working with a particular speech therapist that I genuinely disliked.
On paper, she looked like the perfect individual to work with deaf children. She had her masters in Deaf Education. She was young, she was energetic, she was blonde and beautiful.
"How long have you been signing?" I asked, assuming that since she had her masters in Deaf Ed, she'd be an ASL pro.
"Oh, I don't often use sign. I work on speaking and listening." In other words, auditory/oral.
In other words, we were destined to be rivals.
I remember visiting the classroom one day, and watching her interact with my daughter. She would come up behind her and talk directly into her implant. She would take my daughters processor off without warning. She would speak to deaf children like they could hear. It was difficult to not stand up and shout to her, "THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
In my head, I often referred to this woman as "Nazi Prison Matron." In my opinion, there is something wrong with a person who masters in Deaf Education and doesn't even use the language of the deaf. There is something wrong with the notion that a deaf child must learn to listen for a language they cannot hear, and speak a language that they cannot hear. I'm not saying that a deaf child can't learn to speak, I'm only wondering why it's necessary. What good will speaking do when they can't hear the response given?
The idea that a deaf child MUST learn to talk is ridiculous, and frankly that mindset is dangerous. I've seen in my own work place education professionals who sometimes visit the classroom hardly give a second thought to a child, who didn't have language for the first year of their life, signing a whole story. My heart bursts with pride because they have finally been given the means to express themselves.
When that same child vocalizes at all, even if it's just sounds, they are highly praised for it. And when that happens, all I can think in my head is, "That's right, little monkey! Dance!" As if the deaf children are pets or play things. As if they are poor, disabled creatures with no understanding. As if the strides they have made learning a language they can use mean nothing without verbal communication.
Please.
Just a few weeks ago, a woman I hadn't seen in over two years came up to me and asked how my daughter was. "Great!" I responded, "She's in first grade, she's on the honors reading program, she's taking ballet, etc."
"Huh." She responded, "And is she talking now?"
Because none of the other things she's accomplished mean anything if she can't say the word "purple" clearly.
I'm not at all ashamed to say that I lied to that woman. "No." I responded, "She uses sign almost exclusively."
Is that true? Not really. But my daughter isn't her pet, or her plaything. She's not a parrot, or a dancing monkey. And being able to speak doesn't make her better at any of the things she managed to accomplish.
And personally, I believe that she isn't doing well in spite of her deafness. She's doing well because of it. I'm proud of the strides she has made in her communication skills, be they sign or verbal, because I am proud of her. Period.
I guess my whole point to all of this is check your attitude. Maybe some deaf children will never learn to speak. That doesn't make them any less valuable, or smart. Be proud of what they can accomplish, because they are capable of anything as long as their time isn't wasted on nearly pointless pursuits or the agendas of people who think they know better.
