The New Normal

There's no getting around the fact that I have completely rethought everything I ever I knew about relationships, and how to behave in a relationship.

I am coming to the realization that I have no concept of what a "normal" romantic/spousal relationship looks like. 

Don't sit there and think that there is "no normal." There is. I've glimpsed it. It's shimmering on the edge of my periphery. I'm afraid to look directly at it for fear that it will merely be an apparition that will disappear when I turn my full gaze on it.

Normal looks like nothing that would catch my attention. It's not covered in heartache and daddy issues. It's not living with the dead. It's not the raging current under the calm veneer. 

It's eye contact, and smiles, and an open heart. 

It's not blaming people for its circumstances. It's accepting of its own limitations. 

It's not hateful, even in the face of painful events. It's kind and pleasant, and being in its presence feels peaceful and safe. 

Normal doesn't pull away when you reach for it. Normal reaches back.  

Normal doesn't hold you to impossible standards. Normal simply lets you be. 

Normal doesn't despise you for who you are. Normal accepts you as you are.

Maybe you're right. Maybe there is "no normal" after all. 

Because normal seems extraordinary to me.