The Pizza Is Real

You've known me your entire life. If you know one thing about me, you know that I love pizza. I've always loved pizza. I've always wanted a pizza to call my own.

One day, I walk into a pizza place and decide I will eat no other pizza but the pizza from this place. For better or worse. Till death do us part.

For twelve years, I do just that. I never get tired of that pizza, though very sad that it's starting to make me feel miserable more and more. Still, this is the pizza I've chosen and by God, I'm going to stick with it if it kills me. Why? Because I love this pizza.

Then it happens. I find out the pizza isn't even real pizza. In fact, nothing about the pizza was true. The pizza is a lie. Not only is the pizza a lie, it's been giving itself out free while I've been having to pay all these years.

The pizza place closes its doors and moves elsewhere, to continue giving its fake contents out to people who either don't know or don't care.

This hasn't ruined pizza for me, though. I decide to move on. I try other, new pizza in rapid succession, hoping that any one of them will be better. Not hard to top, but in the end I give up, knowing that the right pizza might just have to be something that shows up.

Then I notice a pizza place that has been there the whole time, I'd just didn't see it because I was so focused on my twelve year pizza commitment that it didn't even occur to me until I was pizzaless. I think, "Ok, I'll give it a shot."

And guess what? It's the best pizza I've ever had. Ever. Eeeeeeeever. And because you've known me your whole life, and known the struggle is real, I rejoice at the chance to tell you, "I think I found new pizza!!" I'm ecstatic. I'm giddy. I'm so happy, I can't stop smiling at the very thought of this pizza.

I'm bursting at the seams with unfathomable joy when I tell you.

And the only thing you say is, "Ew."

Fine. I'm not going to share anything about the pizza with you.